im not even two decades old

and i went for my class reunion already

i haven't met them in almost a decade

nine years, to be exact.

it made me high!!

i love the feeling.

it was so good to see some of them again,

all so grown up,

so different,

we chatted about our childish past, 

our bullying days

and our horrible habits.

there was this awesome hit of warmth

like pushing yourself back to yesteryears

where things were so easy back then

and how we were responsible for nothing

and that feeling was absolutely glamorous!

we have to do it again,loves!!

then we'll have a bigger crowd.

:)

why it hurts.

he says the sweetest things.

but the words don't only go to you

he play with his words

make them sweet

for the other girls.

he says he care for you

but his actions tell me otherwise

he say it's not a game

but at the same time

there isn't an inch of seriousness

he flirts with the other girls

and say you're his only

but

his reputation means more.

his reputation

the one that fools around

the ones that goes for the girls

the one that uses words

words, and only words.

yes, that reputation.

it's fucking annoying, i tell you.

i tell you..

don't mess with me. 

don't toy me around.

don't push me to walk away

when i leave, im not coming back 

and you'll be losing out.

i've got enough people coming and going

you'll be just like any other daily passerby.

know your limits.

i like how i'm feeling right now.

im serious this time

about saving.

during the beginning of the year, i was so proud of being able to save up to rm30. 

then temptation came.

i think it was chocolates. 

savings gone.

didnt have the willpower after that. 

it's seriously exhausting to save money. 

it drains my energy out somehow.

now, i really wanna do it.

i'm going to save. 

but i dont think im going to set a target 

because i know mine are never realistic

and only in one direction- failure.

but i'm going to save anyways!

gonna splurge at Singapore.

i know what i want in mind already.

im waiting for the day to come!

loves!

to what extent

to what extent should we push ourselves

towards something that doesn't respond

to what extent should we break ourselves

until our heart turns stone cold

to what extent should we hold on

when hanging on makes all the mess

to what extent should one strive on

only to know failure's our success

to what extent do we tolerate

with such silly attitude of oneself

to what extent do we hate

till our heart loses a piece of itself

to what extent do we persevere

only to realise it's all pointless

to what extent do i let thoughts linger

till it screws my emotions like this

what ain't right.

what's wrong here are our rights.

as a citizen, as a teenager, as a student, as a child and as a sister.

im not going to elaborate much on this. 
just let this linger in your mind.
it's true huh?

chinese new year and valentine's day was blissfully relaxing.

so damn satisfied with holidays this time.

school's starting in a few days. gots ye tests and assignments to do.

i wish i could say that i love the teachers so much. but maybe not at the moment.

oh yea, i forgot.

HAPPY FOXY CHINESE NEW YEAR AND SEXY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

if i could bedazzle the greetings, i would. but this internet thing or what not won't let me.

you get me now?

i know what my intuition is telling me

and boy, i won't let you play me like a fool

because i've got my eyes enough to see

that you putting up a front, way too cool.

if you decide to lie

give it a second try

better yet, 

save those words 

to inflate your dates

because i've had enough

oh, those dirty sugar coated words.

im not one to cry

cause if u treating this as a game

just give me a day

and i'll erase off your name

after all, there's so many other fishes in the sea :)

i believe that you don't have what it takes to break me down.                                                

can we not waste efforts

in putting in hopes

for things that we're unsure of

even if they're certain,

no man can foretell 

what the forwarding hours are.

im tired in hoping 

for a surprise that would impress

because as the needle tocks, 

my believe in you has gone far less.

it lies dead 

it gives no response

but it doesn't hurt 

because 

your dreams,

they do not crush.

oh,the beauty of emotionless creatures.

 

although we don't say it,

everybody wishes

for a special valentine's.

IT'S FEBRUARY!!!

THIS IS SCARY!!

soon enough, march will just be tomorrow.

my eyes, they form this wealthy bag right underneath.

Chinese New Year is coming and so is Valentine's Day!!

i want it to be different this year.

 cause 2010 is all about difference to me. :)

it's scary, i tell you..

how time pass so fast
and we're not given the opportunity
to inhale luxuriously
or to breathe in style

every amount of oxygen taken in
feels like it's been forcefully pushed in
by the passing of time
and the antics of life.

grab hold,now
of what you can
to tell everyone how
the joy they've brought upon
your book of memories.

embrace the days with joy
sing peaceful songs
and tell the story
to all
that life
is nothing close to long.