WITH ALL THE HATERS, YOU'LL STAND TALLER!

Don't be pushed down by people.

People hate cause you intimidate. 

Take it as a form of flattery. 

Smile cause haters make you strong! <3

stand up for yourself.

all this while i've been hurting and crying
for countless times.

sometimes, we should let logic come in the way
and let go of our emotions.
cause when a man doesn't treat us right,
walk away.

let go even if there's so much memories.

the loser doesnt deserve me.

never say it only happens in movies.

I never knew it would happen to me.at least.

You know when you have this thing with a guy for a year plus.
A year can be pretty long.
And suddenly there’s this period where you don’t talk for 3 months.
Obviously, i still have my feelings for him then.
And i was like a kid with cake when he came back.
Because they say if u push him away and he comes back, it means you mean something more to him.
And boy,he came back.

Five days into getting back
Facebook told me that he was ‘In a Relationship’ with another girl.
i texted the dude to ask him what was happening.
He replied sixteen hours later telling me he didnt know how to tell me.
He said ” It just happens. I really thought we stopped talking already”

what kind of fucking coward!!
it hurts.. but at least i know now that i don’t want to be treated like that anymore.


i got played.

updates :)

CLASS OF 2010!

the holidays begin TODAY.

i'm so hyped up about it. i wanna go out and just chillax.

i can't wait for my trip!

i wanna go to the beach to tan myself.

and rest my eyes on the 'scenery' there.

if u get what i mean ;)

i hear the people there are pretty hot!

woot!

im high .

im single aren't i?

i should enjoy. that's life. :)

it's daddy's birthday today!!

daddy 

daddy 

daddy

i wanna thank you so much for all that you've done

and im truly sorry for the tantrums that i throw.

i guess i'm just like u :)

thanks for giving me more than i can have.

you've always been the one that there's to support me emotionally.

i love you.

i don't wanna be a hypocrite.

i know i've been writing about stuff on how girls should make their stand and get over and stay strong..

i'm giving myself 3 days to cry if i want to.i've got no time left.

and this time im prioritizing it all very well.

i mean i'm trying to see reality right here.

and whatever that has been happening in the past ten months of my life was just too good to be true?

i can't really decide on that but then 

i'm here to make a vow to enjoy my last year in high school the best!

i don't wanna be wasting days, just sulking away.

in short : be a player! ;)
im out!

update update!

since i see some readers, i thought an update might be great!

anyways, 

tomorrow night, i'll be doing a performance with a group of my friends.

we'll be dancing to 3 songs.

Beware of the Dog -Jamelia

Bailalo - Kat Deluna

My Humps - Pussycat Dolls.

of course we're not doing the full song!

we're just taking a minute out of each song.

and there's also a duet / contemporary dance

to

Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis.

it's the version from So You Think You Can Dance.

i swear! it is awesome!! i'm so proud of all the dancers. 

there's a total of 8 of us.

when we started out, almost half of the group was quiet and shy.

after 2 months of endless rehearsals and being together,

i do see them turn into someone different.

someone more daring and confident about themselves.

someone that perseveres and fight for something they like.

someone that can think right and 

i was surprised by how mature they could be.

i am so in love with my babes!

after tomorrow night, all the weekdays of rehearsals are gone. 

no more weekends at the studio.

no more frustration over dance steps

no more confusion about counts and beats

no more worries about colourful costumes .

it's definitely gonna be a sad 'goodbye' 

but then these are the memories that we have in our hearts.

all the afternoons of heart-to-heart talk

the tears and the heart pain

the bruises and blood spilt

the conflicts and jokes

all of those will close as a chapter in our lives.

crap! i don't wanna end up bawling after our performance. :(
just secretly pray for me  please :)

IT'S MY SIS'S 19TH BIRTHDAY TODAY!!

i can't believe i'm not there to celebrate it with her! :(

it sucks!

but there's always a next year, i believe.

she's like a sister/bff/horrible babysitter.

i miss the crazy times we had.

i'm still not used to not having u around eventhough it's been 2 years.

darn.

I LOVE YOU,SIS!

distance sucks..

been through it before?

MAY OH MAY!!

MAY IS HERE. 

MAY IS GONNA BE SCARY.

JUNE IS GONNA BE SCARIER.

BUT MAY'S MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY. :)

I MISS HER TONNES. 

I CAN'T WAIT TO BE THERE WITH HER NEXT YEAR.

TWO SISTERS TOGETHER?

THERE'S ALWAYS MISCHIEF! ;)

OH, LIFE WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF I DIDN'T HAVE A SISTER.

I LOVE HER TO BITS!

how am i suppose to feel?

the teachers are telling us that they cant help us anymore.

we're literally helpless

does that mean hopeless as well??

should i be worried?

i just realised that this month is passing by really quick with the crazy rehearsals and all.

i can't wait to get the performance over and done with.

oh yea, did i tell u?

imma be performing at my school's 'Musical Evening' 

gonna be dancing!

hope all turns out well!

i've never rehearsed for anything so hard in my life!

even training for interschool was way easier and much more relaxing.

June is gonna be a crazy month.

i'll make it through alive

im just not sure if i'll still remain sane

or lose my senses.

wish me luck?

WHY DO WOMEN HAVE CRAVINGS?

i don't know what's up with me. 

i don't think i'm insane 

and i won't blame my hormones for this
but i feel like becoming a mother already.
put sex aside, 

i wanna wake up in the morning to hear my children screaming for me

i wanna do my daughter's hair every morning before she goes to school

i wanna remind my son to tuck in his shirt before he gets to school

i wanna cook dinner for a family of my own

right before i head to bed at night, i wanna stare into those eyes 

and i wanna hear them say 'Mummy, i love you' .

this is me after the photoshoot. 

you gotta love it right? :)

DO YOUR PART FOR CHARITY!!

www.malaysiabolehhandcraft.blogspot.com

IT IS A BLOG THAT SELLS HANDMADE SHOULDER BAGS AND BOOK CASES. 

the beautiful work is done by a single mother with 6 kids. she has prosthetic legs but that does not stop her from working hard to feed her children. 

if you are on a budget, just have a look. no harm just to click the link.
the bags look so beach-like to me! it's awesome!!

seriously people, it's better to support someone that is making honest money than to lend the money to someone that goes for prostitution or gambling.

i don't ask for a lot do i??

remember i've been crazily talking about saving money??

i managed to!!

but guess what?

i left it in school and it got stolen!!

FML

it's almost the end of april!

i'm alive!! can u believe it?

i've gone through so much this month,im emotionally and physically stressed out.
even food is not helping me out that much.

i've given thought into my future already.
how does PSYCHOLOGY sound?
after all the posts that you've read(if u do read) , what do you think?
does it suit me?

at the moment, i'm going into dancing again. this time, more active than ever. which is SO awesome. 

this got me to thinking..

if i happen to make it to perth next year, i'll be so moody or stagnant (is that the right word?). 

i've been running around with activities going on in school and what not. 

and at perth, where i'm studying, i don't think i'd have anything to do.

my life would be so un-hectic. and so not thrilling. :(

i'm currently googling for dance schools near my school already! hahahaha

for the love of preparation!!

oh, im done with my photoshoot already.

it was beyond awesome. 

the class really felt like a family. 

all conflicts aside, all love and fun on that day itself.

high school's almost over. :(

people people people!!

i can see that i havent written in AGES!!

anyhoos, my exam results are back. im glad that i didnt manage to fail anything but those are just mere passing marks. so unsatisfying. i gotta promise myself to work hard the next term. i let myself down this time. dont wanna let it happen again.

oh right, my 2010 resolution is to be a NERD!!

somehow i dont see this happening. hmmm..

my class photoshoot is coming up so soon! the anxiety is spreading like wildfire!!
i know i will so have fun.
im just not that happy with my hair at the moment. didnt manage to cut it during the exams cause it's like taboo to me.

i have this thinking that the information goes into my head and fills up my brain so badly, it clings to my hair. therefore, if i were to cut it off during exams, i would lose all my facts.

im sooo.. weird.
and now my hair's like crazy flat poodle. i need volume!!!

APRIL'S gonna be a busy month. oh gosh.

oh yea, did u know that i got april fooled?? oh me bollocks!

but i love it anyways :)

im having exams now!

God forbids me from coming online!hahah.

BUT here i am :)

im making it to kl after my exams!
mum says she wants to go shopping.wohoo!!
dad's there to watch Grand Prix there.
while i'm on the journey to save and diet, i guess i'll be there for the eye candies.
i might be able to spot a really hot guy in KL all for myself.
hhahaha
eww..
who would wanna have one when they can have five?!?
ditto?

im having exam blues and im posting this up to keep myself high.
im not expecting much from this exam.
it feels like any ordinary test
cause i haven't been studying.
talk bout revision the night before the papers!

you out there, take care aight!
plenty of my love to you people

xoxo

kim

im really bugged out bout leaving high school now.

the thought just keeps coming into my head.

im having mental images of saying goodbye.

:( 

:( 

:(

:'(

i dont want anything else to care about

except my studies

family

and friends

cause the rest 

aren't worth my time.

Pixie Lott - The Fall

Pixie Lott is awesome! she dances and sings so well.

ok, im here to praise her and respect her.

im not here to be some 11 year old sticking her posters all over my room

i just think she deserves all the praises.

it is so important to flood your high school life with pictures!

they bring back a thousand memories

and no matter how horrible u look in them,

it's sure to put a smile on your face!!

i don't wanna say goodbye to all my classmates!! :(

i got to tell myself to be better than that so i know that i'm capable of deserving better.

just a daily reminder for myself.

:)

right now, im thinking of the perfect location for a class photoshoot.

Plan A was the beach but then another school did it.

wouldn't be very nice if we took it.

conflicts to be avoided.

so yes, back to square one,

i need ideas.

because i never had a Plan B.

ideas, anyone?

Dear March

Listen to what i have to say.

Please make time pass slower but make each moment so special for me.

It's gonna be a really busy month and i hope that you'll be nice enough to cut me some slack and some time for relax.

I still got plenty to catch up with. 

I promise to behave myself.

thanks.

xoxo

im not even two decades old

and i went for my class reunion already

i haven't met them in almost a decade

nine years, to be exact.

it made me high!!

i love the feeling.

it was so good to see some of them again,

all so grown up,

so different,

we chatted about our childish past, 

our bullying days

and our horrible habits.

there was this awesome hit of warmth

like pushing yourself back to yesteryears

where things were so easy back then

and how we were responsible for nothing

and that feeling was absolutely glamorous!

we have to do it again,loves!!

then we'll have a bigger crowd.

:)

why it hurts.

he says the sweetest things.

but the words don't only go to you

he play with his words

make them sweet

for the other girls.

he says he care for you

but his actions tell me otherwise

he say it's not a game

but at the same time

there isn't an inch of seriousness

he flirts with the other girls

and say you're his only

but

his reputation means more.

his reputation

the one that fools around

the ones that goes for the girls

the one that uses words

words, and only words.

yes, that reputation.

it's fucking annoying, i tell you.

i tell you..

don't mess with me. 

don't toy me around.

don't push me to walk away

when i leave, im not coming back 

and you'll be losing out.

i've got enough people coming and going

you'll be just like any other daily passerby.

know your limits.

i like how i'm feeling right now.

im serious this time

about saving.

during the beginning of the year, i was so proud of being able to save up to rm30. 

then temptation came.

i think it was chocolates. 

savings gone.

didnt have the willpower after that. 

it's seriously exhausting to save money. 

it drains my energy out somehow.

now, i really wanna do it.

i'm going to save. 

but i dont think im going to set a target 

because i know mine are never realistic

and only in one direction- failure.

but i'm going to save anyways!

gonna splurge at Singapore.

i know what i want in mind already.

im waiting for the day to come!

loves!

to what extent

to what extent should we push ourselves

towards something that doesn't respond

to what extent should we break ourselves

until our heart turns stone cold

to what extent should we hold on

when hanging on makes all the mess

to what extent should one strive on

only to know failure's our success

to what extent do we tolerate

with such silly attitude of oneself

to what extent do we hate

till our heart loses a piece of itself

to what extent do we persevere

only to realise it's all pointless

to what extent do i let thoughts linger

till it screws my emotions like this

what ain't right.

what's wrong here are our rights.

as a citizen, as a teenager, as a student, as a child and as a sister.

im not going to elaborate much on this. 
just let this linger in your mind.
it's true huh?

chinese new year and valentine's day was blissfully relaxing.

so damn satisfied with holidays this time.

school's starting in a few days. gots ye tests and assignments to do.

i wish i could say that i love the teachers so much. but maybe not at the moment.

oh yea, i forgot.

HAPPY FOXY CHINESE NEW YEAR AND SEXY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

if i could bedazzle the greetings, i would. but this internet thing or what not won't let me.

you get me now?

i know what my intuition is telling me

and boy, i won't let you play me like a fool

because i've got my eyes enough to see

that you putting up a front, way too cool.

if you decide to lie

give it a second try

better yet, 

save those words 

to inflate your dates

because i've had enough

oh, those dirty sugar coated words.

im not one to cry

cause if u treating this as a game

just give me a day

and i'll erase off your name

after all, there's so many other fishes in the sea :)

i believe that you don't have what it takes to break me down.                                                

can we not waste efforts

in putting in hopes

for things that we're unsure of

even if they're certain,

no man can foretell 

what the forwarding hours are.

im tired in hoping 

for a surprise that would impress

because as the needle tocks, 

my believe in you has gone far less.

it lies dead 

it gives no response

but it doesn't hurt 

because 

your dreams,

they do not crush.

oh,the beauty of emotionless creatures.

 

although we don't say it,

everybody wishes

for a special valentine's.

IT'S FEBRUARY!!!

THIS IS SCARY!!

soon enough, march will just be tomorrow.

my eyes, they form this wealthy bag right underneath.

Chinese New Year is coming and so is Valentine's Day!!

i want it to be different this year.

 cause 2010 is all about difference to me. :)

it's scary, i tell you..

how time pass so fast
and we're not given the opportunity
to inhale luxuriously
or to breathe in style

every amount of oxygen taken in
feels like it's been forcefully pushed in
by the passing of time
and the antics of life.

grab hold,now
of what you can
to tell everyone how
the joy they've brought upon
your book of memories.

embrace the days with joy
sing peaceful songs
and tell the story
to all
that life
is nothing close to long.

im caving in,

slowly.

i let it take me in,

the quietness.

i realise,

no busy schedule

can distract me enough

to push the thoughts out of me.

i realise, 

there's no one,

no one to trust.

i realise,

the life's circle,

has people coming in 

and vanishing off

to someplace

far off.

i realise, 

that efforts you make,

they get misinterpreted.

i realise,

that only in trying

i get accused

of struggling

in doing something right.

i realise,

the number of tears 

don't compensate 

for life's lessons.

i realise,

that 'inner beauty'

is just a comfort term.

i realise,

being judged

both has its ups and downs

however, hurtful.

i realise,

we all grow up 

sometimes, with things

that we could have wished for

but greed got in the way.

with a little hope

and a silent prayer,

let it be beautiful memories

that make me smile

at the end of the day.

im chasing after time so i can hopefully tell it to slow down.

i'm packed to the max. i can't breathe.

i sit on the chair, right in front.

and i feel light in my head.

like im about to collapse any minute.

the affair.

you bring me out.

i meet your friends.

they play nice.

they keep cool.

but i check your phone

and i see the calls.

im not dumb.

i can tell.

you dont have to hide

don't even take the effort to try.

i can see it through those eyes.

i don't want to look into those eyes

the ones that made me survived through the night.

the thought that tortures my mind.

the one that's killing my feelings inside.

the secret i spoke only to myself,

on the outside, no one can tell.

it bothers me,

it scars me.

it ruined the dream 

of the girl that had hopelessly hoped.

there's the pain you feel

but the smiles conceal

i tell myself im not troubled.

i tell myself that there are others in something similar,

maybe worse.

these wounds, they won't heal

because memories, they kill

i don't ask for riches

at the moment

just

the open arms reaches

for an older sister that you have stolen.

what doesn't kill me is only gonna make me stronger.

im going to stick to this one.forever.

you played with all the alphabets

and i fell for your words.

sayang.

dear housewives.

Centuries ago, housewives were housewives. They stayed at home to organise the house chores and educate their children. The children mostly learnt through experience.

Amazingly, in this 21st century, majority of the housewives are just plastic mannequins. They hire maids to do the chores and they send their children to school thinking that the school staff will educate their children for them. Housewives these days spend their idle time gossiping and spreading rumours about other people. These so-called housewives meddle into the lives of the student body just to make sure their child looks 'perfect'. This is disgusting. Imagine the shameful act you have to pull just to make your child look good because apparently every child reflects the background of their family.

Dear housewives,

If u really want to produce top grade children, be there for them and actually listen to them. Don't care so much about 'who's doing what at where' or treat us like 'Topic of the Day'. Just watch your child. They may be angels in your eyes. You have no absolute idea what kind of demonic child you have bred.

That's my two cents for you,extremely nosey mothers.

im leaving a quick post to tell u that i miss u guys!

and tomorrow is FRIDAY!!
i appreciate Fridays so much now!

psst! did u notice the new change in my blog? ;)

love it? hate it? 

let me know!

it gives me the determination not to be like you!

fuck this.

have a good listen to this song.

live life like nothing hurts because everybody deserves to be happy.

first week of school down!

IT'S FRIDAY!!

oh yeah!

school has been really demanding this whole week!

but time passed really fast

and soon enough 2010 will be history to us.

i don't want to grow old so fast

but i want to see the world already

ok, i am officially tired.

the weekend gives me ample time to snooze

but i got tests coming up

and birthdays to kill :)

MY BESTIE IS TURNING 17 SOON!!!

and my birthday is like 9 months away.

im already so excited for her.

she's turning old!

i love her so much!

enjoy the weekends, love!

xoxo

HAPPY NEW YEAR

to all you sexy readers!!

i wanna thank you all for putting up with me

and my crazy rants that goes on forever.

make the best out of 2010!

whatever it is, don't let anything ruin it for you.